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Wed Dec 28, 2005 2:02 pm |
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I was just thinking about those neat little quotes you get whenever you log off Dreamscapes. Who came up with them/who found them all. And if we have a clever one, could we perhaps submit it?
The one about the skydiving really made me crack up. - And just how many are there, seen about 10 distinct ones I believe. |
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Anonymous
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Wed Dec 28, 2005 3:10 pm |
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Here are some more if you want them...
* Why do you never see baby pigeons?
* What I would love to know is why the sparrow killed cock Robin? I mean what did the poor lil guy ever do to him?
* Why does everyone presume that God, Allah, Jehovah (wuteva) is a man? Cos when God made man she was only joking :-p
* Why do liars tell you they always tell the truth? 
* Why did Peter cry Wolf.. why not pig.. or cow.. or sheep?
* Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
* Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
* How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?
* If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
* Why don't they just make mouse-flavoured cat food?
* If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
* If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
* Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
* Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
* Why is abbreviated is such a long word?
* Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
* Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
* If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
* What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
* If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
* Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
* Do fish get cramps after eating?
* Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
* If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
* When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
* Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
* How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
* Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
* Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
* Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
* If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
* If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
* If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? |
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Anonymous
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Wed Dec 28, 2005 3:22 pm |
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You are truly my hero! Some of these are classics...and why do you never see baby pidgeons. |
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Anonymous
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Wed Dec 28, 2005 5:35 pm |
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Well, it was an immortal we had a while ago called Alrian (I think, I am no good with names) who came up with the ones we have. There in in fact 56, but that has now gone up to 91 as I have just added Ecargs! |
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Anonymous
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Wed Dec 28, 2005 6:38 pm |
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| Ecarg wrote: | Here are some more if you want them...
* Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
* Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
* How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?
* If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
* Why don't they just make mouse-flavoured cat food?
* If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
* Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
* Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
* If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
* How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
* If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? |
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Anonymous
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| Posted:
Thu Dec 29, 2005 3:24 am |
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Well.. I can no longer cope with all this adoration! 
So I wish you all a fond farewell. I must needs return to the village of my borth now, as family commitments press.
Take care one and all and may your hunts fare well for you all. |
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Anonymous
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Fri May 05, 2006 2:16 am |
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*Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster with more energy!
*To err is human; to forgive is against company policy.
*Follow your dream; unless it's the one where your naked at work during a fire drill.
*To err is human, but to really screw things up requires a computer.
*Bad command or filename. Go stand in the corner.
*C code. C code run. Run, code, run! PLEASE!
*The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
*Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
*To err is human; to moo, bovine.
*Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
*I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. He's gone now.
*What the gods get away with, the cows don't.
*Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
*Hate the hairball, not the kitty.
*Never moon a werewolf.
*The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
*Be nice to dragons, for you are crunchy, and go well with ketchup.
*A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
*Magic lightning can strike the same place twice.
*There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.
*Trust the driver - but keep your seatbelt on.
*The tire is only flat on the bottom.
*Man who run in front of car get tired.
*Man who run behind car get exhausted. |
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Anonymous
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